Kids Plus and Basketball Stories
What hobbies have been passed down from your family?
One hobby that has been passed down from my family include basketball. I probably played basketball when I was younger, but the last time I remembered playing basketball was in kindergarten and first grade. When I was in kindergarten and first grade my parents signed me up for an after school program called Kids Plus. Besides the awesome name, Kids Plus was a program where kids of all grades in my old school Carie Busey would do after school activities. One of the games I picked was knockout. Knockout is a basketball game where everyone lines up and if the person behind you makes a shot before you do you are out. I remember I used to not be strong enough to shoot the first shot overhanded, so I would shoot underhanded. This shooting technique is also called the “granny shot” which I guess was to make fun of the way you shoot because you look like a grandma. Fortunately, I do not remember being made fun of too much for doing the granny shot probably because I was pretty good at making them. I learned that the NBA free throw percentages with the granny shot is actually more accurate because you can put more backspin on a basketball. This fact could be the reason why I was pretty good at making granny shots, but I eventually stopped shooting granny shots. If I had to guess why I stopped, it may have been to fit in because only a couple of kindergarteners and first graders played knockout so most people were not shooting granny shots. Maybe I started to want to fit in by shooting overhand, but I think my brain started to associate shooting granny shots as being easier. I then started to shoot overhanded to either fit in or challenge myself. I remember one story when playing knockout which I still feel bad about. I think I already had a bloody nose, but I still wanted to play knockout, so I was sniffing a lot trying to stop the bleeding. When a person in front of me got out they threw the ball to me and I miss timed my catch so the ball hit my nose. I do not remember it being too dramatic that blood flew everywhere. I think I just sat down and covered my nose. I remember there was an older kid who got mad at the kid who threw that ball at me because he thought the other kid was mad he got out. The Kids Plus counselors eventually got involved and they told the kid’s parents. I remember he was very sincere and apologetic. He probably did not think he threw the ball too hard which I agreed with. I remembered I tried to express that I did not think the kid was at fault, but I do not think I got the point across which I regret. I just hope his parents did not punish him too severely or anything. Kindergarten and first grade to be the end of my basketball career for a long time because I started going to Dr. Howard and they did not have a basketball hoop. The next time I remember picking up basketball again was during middle school where I started to play with mostly my dad and older brother. I remember we used to mostly play two on one against my dad and it would be pretty even. Ever since I started playing basketball at Uni the roles have been switched and not to brag or anything, but I can beat them two on one. I guess my biggest regret was that I did not go to the try outs for my middle school basketball team although I signed up. I do not think I was that good in middle school, but I would have been able to play more in middle school. Currently I would consider basketball my favorite sport so I am glad of my parents for signing me up for Kids Plus where I discovered it and all the times I was able to play it with my family. I guess if I had to come up with a moral of the story it would be to try new things because they might become your favorite.
Hi Robert. First things first, this essay needs to be broken up into paragraphs, preferrably those of varying length. With that out of the way, it was fun to hear about your lifelong basketball journey. The bloody nose story was very entertaining, and I also hope that that kid didn't get reprimanded too severely afterwards. The essay is primarily narration, so I would like to see some more reflective parts, maybe about how basketball fit with your other activities or what lessons it taught you. Otherwise, good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Robert, this is a great essay. I have had the honor of sharing the basketball court with you, and I am always impressed with how passionate and fast you are. I like how to start with your earliest memory of playing basketball, and how you always used to shoot your shots granny style. I wonder if this is the reason you attempt all scoop layups, which you know coach hates. I think two changes you can make to this easy to make better flow better is to break up the big chunk of text into smaller paragraphs, and send thing is to use commas in your sentences and vary sentence structure. Overall, this was an enjoyable read.
ReplyDeleteHi Robert. I really enjoyed reading about your journey with basketball and how your relationship with the sport has changed throughout the years. The essay flows smoothly and chronologically the way you start by talking about your experience with basketball in kindergarten and then slowly transition into middle school and then high school. I do think your essay should be divided into paragraphs to make it easier for the reader to know when you are going to switch to a different part of the story. The prompt also asks what hobbies have been passed down from your family, so maybe you can go into more detail about how your family influenced your love for basketball. Overall, good job!
ReplyDeleteHi Robert. Nice essay. I really liked how you emphasized your enjoyment of basketball. It really brought the whole piece alive. Maybe you could work in a different perspective (i.e a time where you maybe didn't like basketball as much, or emphasizing how the unfortunate bloody nose caused you distress). Additionally, I agree with Michael's point - maybe splitting up your paragraphs would be a good choice. If you could vary the sentence structure a little more, I think it would flow better as well. But, overall, great job! I really like how vulnerable you were about your basketball playing. The specificity of the times you played basketball really had great details!
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